Post by robo on May 19, 2019 14:30:46 GMT -5
Toilet Paper Times
Cultist Burns Kirigakure's Hospital
An unnamed mad man drew a massive cult symbol in front of the Hospital with the blood of innocents! He lit it ablaze in what many believe to be a ritualistic cult ceremony. He murdered two unidentified victims. Our very own Kiyogetsu Hozuki rescued Moubu and Jun from the scene. We sat down with him to get the full scoop.
"So what happened?"
Kiyogetsu: "Well, he was distracted by Jun. I had tried to order him to stand down, but he ignored me, so I just got behind him and used one of my clan's special jutsu. After that, well.. The cultist's head exploded, it was horrifying, I also doused the fire in the hospital, and stopped it from spreading."
"Is it true your friends call you 'Hero' now?"
Kiyogetsu: "Yes."
"What was the symbol?"
Kiyogetsu: "The symbol was a massive red circle with red lines striking through it various times. It was drawn with the blood of civilians.
"How did you kill the cultist?"
Kiyogetsu: "With Suika, and my clan's special jutsu 'Mizudeppo'."
"How did this event - killing a cultist - make you feel?"
Kiyogetsu: "I had nightmares and could barely function. What happened, how it happened, and how fast it happened bothers me, and not to mention it was my first time killing someone-- showing how easy it is to die."
Imagine having nightmares because you protected your friends and saved innocents! Police Officer White Haired Noble was a hero that day, no doubt. He ended our conversation vowing to arrest the next criminal and bring him in for questioning instead of an execution. His story inspires us all to be heroes to one another, protecting our village from the growing dangers of cultists and violent criminals.
Crony Cop Catches His Own Punishment
Pictured: A bandana wearing adolescent
Now former police officer Mura was found to commit extortion, abusing his power for personal gain. He wrongly imprisoned the teen with a mohawk (Gatsu) in his greedy lust for money. Investigation led to a bandana wearing adolescent (Gaku Kinuta) revoking Mura's police badge for misuse of authority and offering punishment options. Gatsu reported feeling good that justice was delivered. However, in rebuke of the option to duel Gatsu, Mura attacked Okyu Eihei member Gaku Kinuta. It is a shame how low the former cop went after being exposed for his corrupt behavior. It is a further shame that such a crony, fraudulent individual was ever on the Police Force to begin with; this calls attention to how much the Force needs to be more careful in who it selects to join its ranks and who it keeps on it.
A Tournament Loser's Story
Pictured: An exposed fish girl
As many of our readers know, the Karatachi have been holding a Tournament. Its final match happens today between Team Tundra and The Demon Brothers - make sure to show your support for these competitors! With many aspiring victors having fallen, we took some time to catch up with one such loser to find out their experience. An exposed fish girl (Mako Hoshigaki) discusses her journey with us below.
"Why did you lose?"
An exposed fish girl: "Me and Nakano used a more defensive strategy. However, we lacked more of a teamwork thing, we fought too separated which caused our loss."
"Do you feel this tournament means anything? That you are unfit to reach your goal of being Mizukage?"
An exposed fish girl: "I'm sad that I couldn't prove to the rest of them I'm able to be Mizukage . . . I see it as a learning experience. I know I'm not the weakest."
"How does it feel to be on the losing side in this tournament? And where do you hope to go from here?"
An exposed fish girl: "I'll never doubt myself of what I'm capable of. I can prove myself in missions, for example. I don't see myself as a loser."
Kirigakure Rises: Locals Feel The Tournament's Positive Effect
We spoke to several local townspeople to gather their take on the Tournament. Many locals exclaimed they feel it has redirected the savage brutality that used to be common among genin in Kirigakure's streets. They enjoy watching the duels from a distance, protected from actual violence by the order maintained by the ninja organizers of the fights. Instead of random brawls that harm bystanders, locals have been enjoying their days without senseless, illegal fighting dominating the scenery. Surely, this should bolster Kirigakure's reputation as it set a new norm for the village - a norm of respectful, civil duel and steering ninja's proclivity to battle away from harming the villagers.
This concludes the Shinobi News of November 10, 1201!
Writer: Yuki, Kazuhiko
PS: The editor's opinions do not reflect the opinions or values of TPT as a whole.
PSS: Sorry for the delay! Toilet Paper Times' staff are growing, and they slowly getting the hang of it as they make their debut! Expect more rolls of toilet paper every week - Nogami
PS: The editor's opinions do not reflect the opinions or values of TPT as a whole.
PSS: Sorry for the delay! Toilet Paper Times' staff are growing, and they slowly getting the hang of it as they make their debut! Expect more rolls of toilet paper every week - Nogami