Post by robo on Jun 5, 2019 19:33:12 GMT -5
Toilet Paper Times
A New Year, a New Direction: TPT Changes Ownership! A New(s) Future Emerges!
We at the Toilet Paper Times commemorate the incredible work of our Founding Owner and original Managing Editor Nogami. Recently, Nogami resigned from his shinobi post after attaining his lifelong goal of becoming rich. Thus, he is no longer a member of the Okyu Eihei. Along with this, he has given ownership of the Toilet Paper Times to Yuki, Kazuhiko. In his absence, TPT has gone through internal changes and deliberation to determine our next steps. It has been decided that the next, seventh edition of TPT will be its last. Instead, Kazuhiko will rebrand TPT to reflect an emergent future for Kirigakure and guide new themes in our story coverage. Stories and journalistic approach will be reshaped to meet these aims. If you wish to write for the next newspaper or have input into how we can better serve you, please reach out to Kazuhiko (message me on here or approach him in-game)!
Okui Makikomu Kicked From Okyu Eihei! She Tosses Her Headband Away!
Rumors have circulated about Okui Makikomu's dismissal from the Okyu Eihei. Some say she abused her authority. Others say she was secretly apart of the slums incident. No one knows for sure exactly what went down, which is why we at TPT will ask you readers! Our questions are simple: 1) Should Makikomu be allowed back into the Okyu? 2) Should Okui be allowed to continue doing missions despite not wearing a headband or being a shinobi anymore as she has for the past few months? 3) Why was she kicked out and why did she abandon her headband? 4) Do you think Okui's the least popular genin in Kirigakure now? A survey is attached to this paper (ICly attached); please fill it out by the end of this week (June 7, 2019) so we may publish the final results.
Survey Link: www.surveymonkey.com/r/G8F29YV
Justice Served Once Again
Pictured: Gekido (left) being arrested by Kazuhiko (right)
We at the Toilet Paper Times have never condoned bullying, gang violence, and criminal behavior. Our Founder was a cop and Okyu member himself, as are other writers on staff. It's why we draw attention once again to the misdeeds of our fellow shinobi caught in the act, such as the criminal being arrested above. This criminal used a doton, rupturing the earth around the town square in retaliation for his punishment. Many shinobi were present, but none of them intervened - they sat idly by. While the police capture criminals, it is up to you to shame them into ceasing their nefarious behavior. Crime and street violence ruined our reputation before, and it can happen again. Do not be a passive bystander - no true shinobi allows their village to go down the gutter like toilet paper. So, as you read this and plot to wipe your butt with it, don't forget to clean things other than your own ass. Clean up the misbehavior you see around you. Shame criminals, thugs, and others back into hiding. We've done very well, but still need to ensure our Kirigakure is a just one. If you have a problem with someone else, take it up in a duel sanctioned by an Okyu representative or higher-up. For those of you who like to talk shit, keep your shit in your toilet if you're all bark and no bite. Do a duel; show us what you're made of. And be brave, stand up to the injustice around you.
A Sickly Girl's Story
Pictured: Shiruku, Usagi
As many of our genin readers may know, a new medic has carved her way onto the scene! This white-haired kunoichi is none other than Usagi Shiruku. But, she is no typical medic: this one is chronically (and ironically) ill! She told us her desire to help find a cure for her family drove her to become a medical herself. With such a captivating background, we took some time to find out more about her story. A sickly girl (Usagi Shiruku) discusses her journey with us below.
"What is your illness and its effects?"
A sickly girl: "My illness is.. still very much unknown. It terrorizes my family's immune systems so we are very likely to get sick quite often. Some symptoms include fatigue, coughing, and eventually the paralyzation of the entire body.. starting from the feet"
"How do you manage living with this? Can you go on like this forever?"
A sickly girl: "Mmn.. I can't really treat my illness, I just try to make myself feel better and sustain myself. I need to finish my cure in four years or.. I will be bound permanently to a wheel chair."
"What is your one wish in life?"
A sickly girl: "My wish is to eradicate this sickness in my family. I just want to keep my family's name from dying out. My sister and I are the last, after all."
Despite her chronic sickness, Usagi seeks to heal her family and her comrades. She puts service above self, but recognizes she cannot overcome her illness without the support of her village. If you've been touched by her story, consider donating to fund research for a cure for Usagi's illness. If you're not one our wealthy readers, remember that you can help too by helping Kirigakure's reputation increase. By doing acts that uplift Kirigakure instead of denigrate it, you help ensure we uplift one another. People like Usagi would greatly benefit, as will you if one of our most promising young medical kunoichi has more than four years of life expectancy life. For Usagi and for yourself, let's lift Kirigakure up. On this note, we will end with Usagi's last words which were to "be grateful for what you have, even if you might take it for granted."
Tales of Failure: Lessons Learned
Failure, an occasional part of shinobi life. We all fail at one point or another. In fact, I recently failed to join a mission because I did as the mission giver instructed - pretended to boast about my swimming ability instead of question why I would need to swim (which my friend Sekira thoughtfully asked). Of course, failure goes beyond simple rejection from missions. It includes acting rashly during a mission. This can lead to capture, as was in Kaijuuzan's case; fortunately, he and Moubu were rescued several months ago in late 1202. In more stark cases, acting stupidly can wind up in death. This happened to my late friend, Kimisame Hoshigaki. I write this to impress upon you, the reader, to act smarter if you are a shinobi. We cannot continue to fail missions, because it can wind up in capture, the arrival of cultists in our home, and death. With new training sessions popping up for all sorts of jutsu arts, I propose another one: mind games, and I don't mean genjutsu. We need to make Kirigakure Smart Again; and if you agree, come find me in person and we'll talk about it.
Failure, an occasional part of shinobi life. We all fail at one point or another. In fact, I recently failed to join a mission because I did as the mission giver instructed - pretended to boast about my swimming ability instead of question why I would need to swim (which my friend Sekira thoughtfully asked). Of course, failure goes beyond simple rejection from missions. It includes acting rashly during a mission. This can lead to capture, as was in Kaijuuzan's case; fortunately, he and Moubu were rescued several months ago in late 1202. In more stark cases, acting stupidly can wind up in death. This happened to my late friend, Kimisame Hoshigaki. I write this to impress upon you, the reader, to act smarter if you are a shinobi. We cannot continue to fail missions, because it can wind up in capture, the arrival of cultists in our home, and death. With new training sessions popping up for all sorts of jutsu arts, I propose another one: mind games, and I don't mean genjutsu. We need to make Kirigakure Smart Again; and if you agree, come find me in person and we'll talk about it.
This concludes the Shinobi News of January 29th, 1203!
Writer: Yuki, Kazuhiko
PS: The editor's opinions DO reflect the opinions and values of TPT as a whole.
PS: The editor's opinions DO reflect the opinions and values of TPT as a whole.